Oh diary, sometimes I feel like I'm leaving you behind. Life has been such a hurdle lately, if not an inconvenience altogether. I've been working with a top designer on making a gown out of champagne, and we've hit a snag, so to speak. You know, sometimes I'm a little bit jealous of people in comas, just think of all the things that they never have to worry about.
Well, here's one for the books. When I was nineteen I had an affair
with a Mexican dwarf, albeit a very short one.
By the way diary, I'm heading down to Jamaica next week. Time to brush up on my Rastafarian accent, I suppose. Oh, how time dwindles.